Saturday, August 16, 2008
N A R F L E THE G A R T H O K!
I am not a competitive person...usually. And sometimes my cycling partner will get frustrated with me for riding too slowly. However, there are the times, when the stars are in alignment, and I will be hellbent on "n a r f l i n g the g a r t h o k." (....a reference to a nasty, Godzilla-like creature in the Conehead movie in which Beldar was forced to combat gladiator style. "N a r f l e the G a r t h o k" is our code for wanting to catch and pass someone on the trail.)
Mild mannered me can be set off by certain triggers. Women cyclists? No. Studly road dudes? No. 95% of the people who pass me? Nope. Middle aged guys with beer guts on creaky bikes and white socks with sneakers....who seem to take joy in passing me? Oh, Lord have mercy, yes.
Today I was set off by two guys. One was a "clydesdale" sized dude, probably a little younger than me, wearing a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off. He didn't signal as he passed me (which torques me off), but as he was a wheel ahead of me he shouted "good morning." Probably it was a really friendly greeting, but my brain heard, "Haha! I'm passing you!!!!!!!!" So he became a target for me to pass.
Another was a very tall man on a squeaky hybrid bike. He was wearing a girly bike jersey, and he didn't signal before he passed either. (grrr...) When he got to a hill and he slowed down to a crawl, I had no choice but to pass his slow self.
I passed both of them and they both passed me. But at some point I just could not stand the thought of either of them passing me again, and I worked my hind parts off getting ahead of them for good. Unfortunately, it was at the base of a two and a half mile up grade. I was working so hard that my partner couldn't keep up for a mile or so. Halfway up I lost steam and slowed enough for my partner to catch me....as well as the guy I THOUGHT was one of the garthoks. In my tiny rear mirror the guy had on the same color shirt, but it wasn't the right guy. Oops. Oh well, I was glad to find that I still have some "pepper" in my stroke.
And I did "n a r f l e the g a r t h o k s" because neither passed me again.
We rode 42.3 miles of paved trail today. Tomorrow we will hit the unpaved trails on the new bikes, but I'll probably only ride 12 or so miles. There typically aren't any g a r t h o k s out on this trail, thank goodness.
I need to snip the g a r t h o k.......hmmm......